Monday, February 21, 2011

Sometimes I really wonder why do you care and do so much. When there's nothing I can offer in return. For your sake and mine. Please stop. I hate to disappoint. Nothing can and will happen. I'm flattered but no. Not gonna happen. Not now.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

I want things to be the way it was. Period. Everything, before all the pain, all the loss.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Sometimes I feel God likes to play practical jokes on me. Just when I thought everything was ok. Just when I thought I could forget already. He has to let something remind me of what used to be.

This is painful.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

You know, I'm sick of you playing the eldest son, eldest grandson card. I've been living my life not like it's has been my life. I'm SICK of it.

Stop blaming or pushing all the blame and responsibility for everything onto me. I'm the eldest son not the sole scapegoat. I'm not my father. Why do I HAVE to play the role of a son and take on the responsibilities of a father?

Instead of telling me to compromise and compromise. Tell them to grow up. I've given my all, done my best and I have no regrets at all. Because I HAVE DONE THINGS AND MADE A DIFFERENCE.

They are no longer kids, they should be able to take care of themselves, take charge and responsibilities of their own. They should learn how to respect others especially when they want things to be done for them in THEIR WAY.

If they have no foresight, do not ask me to compromise for their lack of foresight. I'm sorry, but I always plan in advance. I do things for a reason for a purpose and gauge things for the future.

I'm sick of always giving in. Always being the one who held everything up. Always being the one who did things out of responsibilities and my love to you as my mother. But, you do know that I'm not your only Child and I'm your child NOT your PILLAR. You have a husband, 2 sons and 2 daugthers. Why is it all the shit falls on me?

If this keeps up. It'll not be just 25 when I leave home. It'll be much earlier. There's not a single day of peace at home for me. Not a single day of rest as long as I stay in this house.

To the rest of my sane siblings. Seriously grow up. I've yet to flare up at you people nor have I flared up at mum. But I really do think this is really unfair to me. I have my own life to lead. Own hobbies, entertainment, style and way of organising my things. DO NOT expect me to live like how you have lived. If I have do you think we can have our live as such? Do you think I am able to survive outside?

Stop asking me to compromise and to suck it up just because I'm the eldest son. You are no longer kids.